[T-Plus 13 Days!]
Normally I save these sorts of things for Truvotter PrEP School's Facebook page, and in fact it's up there too, but the tool I'm linking to below is really worth a look.
What is it? It's a calculator that estimates the number of people you've been sexually exposed to in your life. Remember, most partners that most people have been with have themselves been with some number of people before them. It's not shameful, it's a fact of human sexuality! It's an important thing to be aware of, though, because it says something about sexual safety and risk; namely, the more partners you've had, and the more partners they've had, the more likely you are to have been exposed to sexually transmitted infections.
All this doesn't necessarily mean that you have to have fewer partners! You can have as many happy and consenting partners as you'd like, as long as you're taking the appropriate precautions for the level of risk you're taking. In general, if you're engaging in riskier behaviors and/or with more partners, it's best to use more layers of protection - whatever options work best for you (and your partner). Regular testing should always be part of the equation, but beyond that, it's up to you.
This was a big part of my decision to go on PrEP, but also a big aspect of the stigma that's still attached to both HIV and PrEP, especially among the gay community. Many of you may have heard the term "Truvada whore" - a gay guy whose supposed sole goal for getting on PrEP is to go completely nuts and f*ck every guy he can find with no condoms. I'm a generally pretty quiet guy, but more than a few people have asked me outright if some version of that is why I got on PrEP.
The reality is that sure, there are probably a few people who get on PrEP mainly so they can spend all day at the bathhouse without packing a stack of rubbers. But so what? Sure, it's not the smartest move - PrEP only prevents HIV transmission, it doesn't touch syphilis or herpes or gonorrhea - but that person is still taking some responsibility for their sexual health and that of their partners. If they're being adherent to their Truvada, and getting their regular tests, then they can be pretty darn sure they aren't becoming positive, and that means that their partners aren't either.
Besides all that, though, the reality (at least that I can say anecdotally) is that the majority of people who get on PrEP are already looking out for their sexual health in one way or another, and are simply looking for a greater degree of security. I personally don't take a whole lot of risk in my sex life (I've had plenty of partners, but I generally insist on condoms, I talk about safety with them, etc.,) but for me, PrEP is still important. The risk of becoming HIV+ is a reality in the world today, especially for sexually active folks. I chose to get on PrEP because to my mind, my level of risk was enough to make it worth it. Given that it's free (for me, so far), and that there's work still to be done before we reach a cure, I feel an obligation to take this level of responsibility to look out for myself and whoever I sleep with.
Thanks for humoring my little soapbox here - I knew the myths surrounding PrEP going in to this process, but it's been fascinating and a little frustrating sometimes to encounter them face to face.
Cheers, folks!
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