Dating on PrEP

[T-Plus 22 Days.]

So, I'm closing in on nearly a month on PrEP now, and the side effects have all but completely faded; add to that the snow day that I ended up with today, and I figured it was time to update my online dating profile. Mostly that involved tidying up bits that were old and outdated, like where I'm working, what my big goals are, that sort of thing. But I decided to add something to my profile that I hadn't had there before: my PrEP status. Check out the paragraph I added below (click the picture for a larger view):

I spent a lot of time thinking about it before I decided to do this; knowing the stigma around PrEP, I worried (I still worry, a little) that it might turn some people off of my profile. Across the community, there's still a really persistent myth that people on PrEP are promiscuous, unfaithful, irresponsible, etc.,... not things I want people to think about me when I'm looking for a date.

Except that picture is the furthest thing from the truth. If you've been reading the blog for a while, you've heard me say this before: I'm not an especially big risk-taker when it comes to my sex life. I've had plenty of partners, but I'm not spending all day every day on Grindr or SCRUFF, or out at the bar or bathhouse. To me, taking PrEP (and telling people that I'm on it on my dating profiles) is a really important part of NOT being risky. Sure it means that I can explore my sexual tastes and fantasies a little more freely, because I don't have to fear that I'm exposing myself to a very serious virus in the process, but it also means that I'm taking the fullest control of my safety and that of my partners that I possibly can. I think that's a really important thing to tell potential dates/partners/spouses: I care about my health, I care about your health, and I'm willing to be honest, even though that means being pretty vulnerable. I don't know about anyone else, but to me, that's the core of any good relationship.

So yeah, I put it up on my okCupid profile. Already, some people have responded, including one cute guy who happily even mentioned that he had no problem with me being on PrEP, and that he'd been thinking of getting on it himself.

Cheers, friends!